Every day is a good day to laugh. Look for opportunities to bring a little silliness wherever there is none. Please note that nothing on this page is true!
Check out the faithful sponsors of this humble publication to whom we owe much gratitude. If you would also like to place an ad, just let us know! Our current fee schedule is extremely flexible, and everything is priced on a sliding scale, meaning the more money you have, the more we charge you.
We also accept payment in the form of material goods and useful services. Below is a rough sketch of what you can expect to pay for advertising with us:
| Size of Ad | Cost in Dollars | Cost in Material Goods | Cost in Useful Services |
| 1/8 page | $31.25 | 1 fully-furnished dollhouse | Sharpen 1 set (64-count) of Prismacolor colored pencils |
| 1/4 page | $62.50 | 6 containers of Talenti gelato | 1 session of therapeutic massage |
| 1/2 page | $125.00 | 2 baby goats | 1 septic tank clean-out |
| Full page | $250.00 | 2 cords of dried hardwood (cut and split) | 1 hour of dispute mediation (between Angel on one shoulder and Devil on other) |
Hermits of the World, Unite!
Hermits United (HU) is an international organization of hermits, recluses, and introverts. We gather once a year in Schaumburg, Illinois (in the Container Store parking lot) to develop a legislative agenda and to reaffirm our deep desire for solitude.
This year’s convention features mime classes ($189 for 3 sessions), genealogy classes ($229 for 3 sessions), and an after-hours tour of the Container Store (free for all registrants; hosted by Bill N.). Come see what you aren’t missing!
Doolittle Dating Services
We are an innovative matchmaking service that pairs people based on the potential compatibility of their pets. Instead of wasting dozens of hours taking personality tests and intimacy quizzes, simply jump on our app (please) and answer a few simple questions about your pet. Within minutes, we will pair you with someone local whose pet may be a good match for yours⏤a connection that could lead to an amazing spark. Our approach to dating is novel, practical, and secure. Whether you own dogs, cats, or ferrets (yes, even ferrets), we believe we can help you find love.
Copyright 2023 Kesel Wilson (entirely, 100% human-created)
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Kesel Wilson 