How do you know that someone loves you? It’s easy: They share their time with you.

It is often said that time is the only resource in the world that is truly non-renewable. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. It’s more precious than gold in a calamity or water in a barren desert, because when your supply runs out, there is absolutely nothing you can do to replenish it. No matter how skilled you are at chemistry, you cannot synthesize more of it. No matter how well-versed you are in mathematics, you cannot add a single hour to your ledger. You cannot borrow time, you cannot make time, and you cannot barter for time. 

Time is so unique that it can be used to measure otherwise hard-to-quantify things, like love and affection. When someone loves you, they share their time with you, and if they love you greatly, they share their time freely and with pleasure. They look for opportunities to spend time with you. If they do not love you, they avoid giving you their time, or they give it begrudgingly and with resentment. It is literally that simple. There’s no need to wonder whether someone cares about you or values you. No matter what words come out of their mouth (or phone), if they do not give your their time, they do not truly love you.

This is such a powerful thing to know about time, because sometimes people feel an obligation to express love to you with words (whether due to family ties or a shared social network), when in fact they feel ambivalent, or even negative, about you. Maybe you’re a person they wouldn’t normally chose to befriend were it not for the blood ties that bind you. Maybe they hold a resentment against you so deep that the love once held is now entirely eclipsed and buried. People know deeply and intuitively that time is a valuable and fleeting resource. Whether consciously or subconsciously, they simply won’t give it to someone they don’t believe is worth it. In some ways, time is the ultimate decoder of love. Words are never a good measure of how someone feels about you, but their actions always are.

So ask yourself: Who does and doesn’t give you their time? If you keep trying to connect with someone, and they keep finding ways to beg off, maybe it’s time to stop asking. If you send someone a heartfelt message, and you get no response, maybe it’s time to admit that that is, indeed, a response. If your communication with someone is usually met with only an emoji or someone “loving” your message, maybe it’s time to get the hint that an icon is all they feel you are worth. Remember that time is a gift, and that everyone gets to choose how to use it. It makes no sense to force someone to give you their time. Every single hour of your life is like a golden coin. Spend it wisely, spend it with those you love, and spend it with those who love you, too.

Copyright 2023 Kesel Wilson (entirely, 100% human-created)

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